econs mock exam my foot.
tmr i'm going in there wif understanding of just ONE topic.
production and cost here i come :)
heh and i havent even started yet.
i'll be using the 3odd hours of breaks tmr to cram.
its really repulsive how some teachers complain tht they're up all nite marking our scripts and tht if a teacher's working harder than his/her students, something's really wrong.
yet some of these whiney lil runts seem to be able to find the time to go blog-surfing and peering into the private lives of their pupils. bah.
your smiles resemble tht of a grinning skull. please stop showcasing yer hideousness.
felt like absolute shit after tht talk wif fahy today.
very remorseful indeed.
if only the system were less rigid, but then again, i'd probably find myself flunking every goddamn thing if they didnt give a rat's ass abt attendance.
such is the life of a ... complete idiot ?
in quite a light-hearted mood today.
havent done shit .. maybe thts whye.
had some briefing this morning abt the career talk thts gonna tk place next week.
i'm quite certain tht, tho holding a law degree wld be way cool, i personally dont think its an ideal profession fer me.
setting my sights on things such as event management/print journalism/business/healthcare.
haha yeah i noe, its quite a broad spectrum i've got there.
always good to have some varietyyyy
wayward offspring. disapproving glares. being grounded fer ... eternity ?
life's not too bad after all. after a long crappy day at sch, where else better to be than home sweet home ? had a nice long 2-hour nap today .. perfect amount of rest to get me revved up fer a hearty meal at the "all-you-can-eat" joint downstairs. and the perfect end to my day - the fact tht midnight marks a very happy moment haha :)
yellow always represents things i like. as you quite possibly can tell by now.
friends.
their silent mugging and sneaky tuition-going ways. ROARRRR.
*mourning fer the loss of a precious rock. damn those merc cabs. bleah.
thts it i'm outta here !
the masochist gnarled at 7/27/2004 10:29:00 PM
Sunday, July 25, 2004
lets just say life's miles away from ideal peachyness rite now.
oh yes. its a blazing hell hole.
ptm has once again, marred the chances of me living my carefree & lackadaisical life of slackdom.
i dont noe who deserves more credit fer all the shit thts accummulated.
the goddamn faculty or my folks.
outta all of this, the only person i havent lost repect fer is definitely fahy.
the rest of you assholes burn in hell.
so the only thing worth feeling at least slightly relieved abt
is probably the fact tht this is the final ptm thts ever gonna tk place.
everyone's so goddamn anal cos its 5 weeks to prelims.
uhhuh, maybe its time fer an awakening or something
but exactly how is grounding me, taking away my net access and possibly confiscating my fone gonna change anythg ?
okayy so my results are far from excellent,
but i think there're cases out there way worse than mine.
they shld be thanking their lucky stars .. fucken idiots.
enough of wallowing in self-pity.
staying home has got its merits i s'pose.
i get to practise my canto wif my mom bitching bout me to my canto-speaking grandma, screeching profanities beyond levels of audibility.
i get to improve my techniques on the art of stealth and being completely inconspicuous so as not to provoke either parent, or unleash a lengthy pep talk/endless nagging.
jesus mary n joseph.
the goddamn benefits.
i shld be so happy.
shit happens.
and when the shit hits the fan, run fer cover, moron.
argh.
can a person suffering from agoraphobia possibly be simultaneously claustrophobic ?
cos i think i'm a lil bit of both.
thru all of this, i consider myself lucky still.
like you've mentioned, there're tonnes of pple out there in far worse situations.
my puny lil problems are specks of nothing when compared to all tht.
at least i've still got someone who's constantly making me laugh my worries away,
and letting me see things in a positive light instead of indulging in my fave habit of always casting a shadow on everythg.
time to end my perennial whining.
i'm lookin forward to the 28th :)
the masochist gnarled at 7/25/2004 01:17:00 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
pple just nv seem to have anythg nice to say.
its always the wrong things being said at the wrong times.
or quite possibly just the most discouraging put-downs perpetually being hurled my way.
are pple selfish with their compliments cos theyre afraid the recipient's gonna get too cocky or what ?
if you aint got nuthin nice to say, then dont say nuthin.
i dont noe whye i constantly commit myself to doing things i hardly even enjoy.
on days like these, i'd much rather be cleanin up the lavatory at an old folks' home.
not quite sure what i'm looking for.
she tells me all the time i shld learn how to accept criticism.
i know shes right. after all, we cant just see the world from our peachy lil perspectives.
perfection is non-existant among us mere mortals.
uhhuh.
but all thts spouting from her potty mouth's just one bad thing after another.
shut up. just shuttup.
which is worse ?
being hated fer good reason,
or fer no reason at all.
*lovely creatures galore
something tragic.
my lil punk's not gonna be bringin me my daily dose of sunshine n warmth any longer.
wish i knew some way to ease yer pain, or at least offer some kinda help.
i noe this probably is the least of favours,
but y'noe my lect notes are always available fer loans.
just gimme a call aight :)
aerosmith - - pink
*i miss you . i really do.
the masochist gnarled at 7/20/2004 11:20:00 PM
racial harmonyy dayyyy :)
pics up on display.
hmmm .. tht rhymes.
the masochist gnarled at 7/20/2004 11:03:00 PM
IM A BIG BIG GIRL IN A BIG BIG WORLD ITS NOT A BIG BIG THING IF YOU.... ME... - BIG LEON
the masochist gnarled at 7/20/2004 12:09:00 AM
Sunday, July 18, 2004
indulged in yet another sinful shopping spree.
minimum purchases. maximum expenditure.
getting a lil picky, are we ?
passion.
or lack thereof.
our very own lingo.
imitation.
obsession.
intimacy.
or lack thereof.
its all in a simple song.
it says everythg i've ever felt bout everyone.
the bugaboos, the authorities, the parental units.
pple who just wanna know, satisfy their inquisitive souls.
an antidote fer misery.
bad vibes and discrimination.
looking forward to my breakfast trade tmr.
heh the simple things in life tht send a lil serotonin to the brain.
hmmm dont even noe if i spelled tht rite. serotonin ?
soft spots.
does tht mean you still have feelings fer a person, but cant do anythg abt it.
or dont noe what to do abt it.
or tht its impossible fer things to work out even if something wuz done.
maybe it just means, you still care but the line ends there.
closure achieved, hence case closed.
feverish frenzy.
its frustrating endeavouring to figure out whats goin on in someone else's mind.
hmmm or if theres even anythg going on in tht hollow sphere.
its time to break away from black.
perhaps only pens cos i wont write in anythg else.
there comes a pt in time when you just think yer world needs a lil more colour.
i s'pose i've come to tht pt in my life.
rainbows and technicolour everyone.
crumby cookies. how apt :)
self-praise is no praise at all.
or according to wen loong, its "self phrase is no phrase"
heh i dont noe whats wif the general dislike, the dude's alrite.
conversation kills.
long ones tht stretch over several hours especially.
mind drain. fatigue.
even the best conversations dont last all day.
what more can be said fer the worst.
its a sundayyy. pardon the strangeness.
the masochist gnarled at 7/18/2004 10:33:00 PM
I LEARNT HOW TO CYCLE TODAY !
yes i noe ... i'm a lil behind everyone else :)
heh and it wuz so simple ! it took like, what, 10 mins ?
aight perhaps longer, but seriously, its fucking amazing.
i'm over the moon :)
got a coupla scratches here n there, abrasions n oil stains.
but its all good !
it seriously has gotta be my biggest accomplishment of late.
unfortunately my riding skills are still wayyy off
but tht shld be perfected after more practice over at squirt's :)
oh and i'm absolute SHIT when it comes to makin turns.
only super gradual ones are do-able.
righto.
you've got no idea how elated i am :)
and i only have one person to thank fer this incredible amount of euphoria
thanks a lot squirt :)
aight and on top of tht.
i got to drive like a grand total of 10cm at the carpark
haha fuckin scared the shit outta me man
manual cars. dont fuck arnd wif em.
it felt like the car wuz gonna bounce rite off the road
think i freaked both of us out so a quick switch wuz done n the expert continued his role as condo carpark chauffeur :)
chitty chitty bang bang haha
RITE ...
finally caught tht long-anticipated trishaw ride too :)
brilliant.went from boat quay to my doorstep which cost 35 buckaroos.
heh its a good dayyy , can ya tell ? ?
an eventful saturdayyy.
PLUS, i'm home earlyyy.
think i've done 3 times more today than i've done on other sats gettin home at 3am.
honestly, town really gets me bored outta my skull.
having nothing to do sends my mood topsy turvy.
wish this pipsqueak island wld just expand sometimes ...
personal space invader.
very apt indeed.
fer once i'm not ranting bout some stupid irrelevant personal issue.
oh well, dont get too used to it :)
fucking happy.
joss stone -- super duper love
the masochist gnarled at 7/18/2004 12:34:00 AM
Thursday, July 15, 2004
were you happy ?
i was.
just fer tht tiny moment.
tht flicker of acknowledgement.
stupid ? yes, quite.
i dont even noe what it wuz.
possibly just a sense of familiarity,
an insignificant gesture tht sparked off some reminiscing.
scratch tht tho.
half the time i dont even noe what i'm feeling.
sometimes i feel so alone, yet i relish in the solitude and tranquility.
i'm beginning to enjoy spending time wif myself more n more.
being a social recluse has got its benefits.
maybe its time to be honest bout everythg.
and at least attempting to come to terms wif my confusion n try to sort things out.
i dont noe what it is wif me, possibly a lack of initiative.
i havent seen my best friend in 2 days, and i havent even bothered to check up on her.
its not even cos i dont care, cos i do.
its perplexing and way too complicated fer me to figure out.
maybe i just dont quite noe how to be a gd friend ...
today wuz a relatively good day.
bursts of hyperactivity, possibly just high on food :)
now tht my mom's back from her trip, i'm provided wif a hearty breakfast every morning.
heh it sounds ridiculous, the kind of importance i place on meals.
oh well ...
different pple find joy in different things.
did something i hadnt done in a long time.
hopped on a random bus from the far east bus stop and let it tk me wherever it wuz headed.
certainly wuz a therapeutic experience.
after approximately 40mins, i ended up way out in jurong east.
aight so now i noe where 105 tks me, time to start cuttin down on those costly cab rides.
what usually robs me of at least 12buckaroos only cost 55cents today :)
kinda cool huh.
the wonders of low-cost public transport.
its nice to do things and not hafta explain my actions, or be judged.
i think i've opened pandora's box, and must now deal wif its consequences.
its nv good to leak out bits of personal info unless you want pple prying it outta you at any given opportunity.
its no wonder i like keeping feelings bottled up inside.
all anyone ever cares abt is to possess information, but nv to actually understand.
make up some nasty shit and they wont even think twice before lappin it all up.
nosey fuckers.
beauty fades.
its whats inside tht counts.
all you visual creatures oughtta be blinded.
*bored outta my wits.
blink 182 - time to break up
the masochist gnarled at 7/15/2004 08:57:00 PM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
androgynous sex appeal
so enticing
songs bring back memories, both fond ones and those best forgotten.
"whye're we so different ?"
aight so there're the midyrs and getting back results and all tht jazz.
the mentioned events having dominated our paranoid and anxious minds fer the past 2 weeks.
lets not even go there.
thing to tk note of : parent-teacher meeting on the 24th.
good tht they tell us in advance, i'll have sufficient time to plan my wake and send out invitations.
it puzzles me, how best friends become best friends in the furst place.
by default ? growing up tog ? having similar personalities and possessing the same tastes ?
(ok so theres a whole lot more to it than just those but whatever)
how dya noe tht he/she is THE ONE.
hmmm tht label just happens to be thrown arnd all too casually these days.
hmmm y'noe how sometimes you conceal yer true emotions so as not to spoil a good thing.
well how dya noe yer doing the right thing ?
who noes fer sure any destruction's even gonna be caused once you let pple noe how you actually feel bout things ?
it might actually make things better even.
keeping things inside nv really does solve anythg.
pent-up frustrations just accummulate and the end result is nv pretty.
oh well ... it all gets buried in yer sub-conscious minds.
feeling a lil weird today. probably sound a lil weird too.
bin thinking of so many things and endeavouring to come to some sort of conclusion wif regards to all the things tht've bin confusing me, but to no avail.
bin kinda annoyed wif having to explain myself to pple and repeat things just so it makes sense to them.
and the entire cause fer all this slow brain registration is simply because pple just dont seem to pay attention when you talk.
either tht or they cant even be bothered to remember tiny details.
whatever the case, i've given up and am no longer gonna tolerate this complete lack of responsibility.
when you ask someone a questn- and i'm inclined to believe tht you have some interest in the answer- yer responsible fer remembering whats been told to you.
its a sign you comprehend whats going on, or yer at least making an effort to understand.
ah heck.
i leave it as tht.
time to practice getting my point across succinctly.
hmmm my feelings fer things and pple tend to fluctuate way too erratically.
one minute i'm positive, and the next i'm the complete opposite.
one moment i totally dislike someone, and the very next i find myself standing up fer them.
its strange. perhaps i'm strange.
some pple just dont deserve the shit theyre dished.
and others tht do, just nv seem to get what they deserve.
ynoe this whole "total disassociation" thing is beginning to get to me.
oh well ... you start something so you follow thru wif it.
theres no turning back.
its fucked up as hell, but i've got my reasons.
not being a total bitch fer nothing ... fer once maybe.
and YOU :)
i'm proud of you.
really am, and feel free to gloat.
tho you noe i WILL be very direct and tell you to stfu when i've heard enough.
as fer the skinny one who nv reads this.
get well soon, you.
on a separate note altogether,
sometimes a rare fone call can really make a huge difference.
thanks fer callin tht day monsta.
you probably wont be reading this either since yer net's fucked up again.
but anyways, i hope you find some way to resolve everythg.
bottle up and explode.
dont you hate it when pple ask you completely out-of-point things just to keep a conversation going or start one.
honestly, just save yerself the painstaking effort.
whye bother digging fer things to talk abt, just let it rest.
things become constipated and rather unnatural.
small talk is a waste of time and pretending to be interested in someone else's life really doesnt get either party anywhere.
i can deal wif the whole "politeness" thing.
but when it becomes very obviously pointless and redundant, it shld just end as soon as it'd begun,
plagued wif too many issues.
outpouring of a tortured soul whos too confused to noe what she wants.
its probably known as "growing up" to most of you normal beings out there.
sometimes all this complication is self-inflicted and hence the agony is well-deserved.
whatever ..
hmmm wif regards to being ambiguous.
not trying to be intentionally shady or anythg, but i think i'm startg to like it.
sparing the details really helps me get to the point.
sometimes the details are really totally irrelevant.
pple seriously needa try to start looking at the big picture.
haha okayy too many "really"s and "seriously" and all tht shit.
i'm outta here.
the masochist gnarled at 7/13/2004 07:59:00 PM
Sunday, July 11, 2004
LAST PERSON WHO
. Slept in your bed: max
. Saw you cry: cant remember .. its bin a while
. You shared a drink with: squirt ?
. You went to the movies with: him :)
. You went to the mall with: ditto
. Yelled at you: probably mom
HAVE YOU EVER...
. Said "I Love You" and meant it?: yeahh
. Gotten in a fight with your pet?: errr yes actually .. rusty can be a real bitch (literally too)
BEEN TO...
. California: nah
. Hawaii: hell yeahhh. my paradise.
. Mexico: nopers
. China: urgh yes
. Canada: yes .. snore
. Danced naked: hmmm ... yeah ! :)
. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: hmmm no actually.
. Wish you were the opposite sex: no not really.
. Do you have a crush on someone: hmmmmm.
. What book are you reading now: vernon god little (STILL)
. Worst feeling in the world: paranoia
. Future daughter's name: portia, beverly, jordan, evan
. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: not anymoreeee .. just my good ol' bolster
. What's under your bed: the carpet ?
. Favorite sport to watch: rugby
. Siblings: 2 obese sisters who tk the form of mutant golden retrievers
. Location: s'pore
. College plans: stay rooted here or head to sydney as the next best alternative
. Piercings/tattoos: uhhuh. spare ya'll the details.
EXTRA STUFF
. Do you do drugs: nopers
. Do you drink: not anymoreee :)
. Who is your best friend(s): grace.
. What are you most scared of: the end of the world
. What clothes do you sleep in: over-sized tees
. Where do you want to get married: hawaii ... beach ceremony
. Who do you really hate: no one's worth it
. Been in Love: yeahhh
. Do you drive: i WISH
. Do you have a job: not at the mo
. Do you like being around people: yeah at times, and at other times i just want pure solitude.
. Are you for world peace: yeahhh man
. Are you a health freak: yeahhh .. in SOME ways haha
MORE STUFF
. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: no
. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yeahhh
. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: theres an ideal "type" but i dont always go after tht
. Song thats stuck in your head a lot: playmate of the year by zebrahead
. Do you want to get married: yeah i guess so .. eventually
. Do you want kids: yeah i s'pose so ... not very enthusiastic as you can tell
FAVORITE
. Room in house: its a tie btw my room and the kitchen
. Type(s) of music: anythg but teeny bopper stuff
. Band(s): it'd tk forever to list
. Color: yellow/black
. Perfume or cologne: tommy girl (its over-used and way too common but its the only one i can stand)
. Month: february
. Stone: hmmm amber
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
. Cried: nah
. Bought: yeahhh a nice newww bag wif squirt's help
. Gotten sick: yeahhhh like last nite .. tummy started feeling real weird after tht tomyam soup
. Sang: yeahh in the showerrr haha
. Said "I love you": hmmmm yes
. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yeahhh :)
. Met someone new: errr no
. Missed someone: yes actually.
. Hugged someone: heh yeahh plenty of tht
. Kissed someone: yeahhhh
the masochist gnarled at 7/11/2004 02:30:00 PM
Friday, July 09, 2004
You are going to marry Ashton Kutcher. He is kind
and sweet, but pulls a lot of pranks (and
probably quite a few on you too!!)and can
always make you laugh.
Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
the masochist gnarled at 7/09/2004 08:37:00 PM
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
You Are Right Brained In Love
Bit of a drama queen
Peacemaker, first to end a fight
Good at thinking up creative dates
Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily
Going with your gut instead of your head
Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault
Good at recognizing patterns in relationships
Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count
Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love
Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow
Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind
Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart
Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
the masochist gnarled at 7/06/2004 12:03:00 AM
Sunday, July 04, 2004
patience is definitely not a trait i possess.
there shld be a law banning mothers from fiddling wif our winamp playlists.
as funky as she thinks she is. my mom's liking fer linkin park and the rasmus is becoming somewhat chronic.
too many fucked up pple in the world today.
met up wif the crew on friday and made a coupla revelations over dinner.
growing up doesnt come wif an instruction manual.
guess we just hafta make exceptions =)
friday - nothing but walking.
it wuz fun fer a change, its bin ages since i've walked fer 4hrs str8.
had one day all to myself & i'm pretty satisfied wif the way it wuz spent.
come to think of it, wuznt friday proclaimed a day strictly just fer the 6 of us ?
it'd be nice to put tht policy back in action again.
i wonder who even reads this junk.
anyhow, spent a whole lotta time chillin at borders on fri.
totally submerged myself into a crazy book search.
splurged a lil and purchased 5 items, of which 1 wuz fer someone else.
definitely an act of extravagance considering i havent finished reading material bought previously.
sometimes, wif books, i sorta get stuck.
as the plot thickens, the mud i'm wading in thickens too and its just impossible to read on.
oh well, when i get in jams like those, i just go and buy more books.
very therapeutic.
dont noe whats wif me and my sudden liking fer all things organic.
basically endeavouring to achieve a healthy lifestyle.
hahaha aight who am i kidding. tht all sounds fuckin cheesy.
no but seriously, went over to some organic grocery shop over at tanglin mall today n splurged (theres tht word AGAIN).
brown rice. organic muesli. oatmeal. organic soy milk. organic snacks. organic beans ...
yeahh you get the picture i'm sure.
its all goood.
now i just hafta work on sleeping a lil earlierrrrr.
it aint called beauty slp fer nuthin'.
aight so the parental units are abandoning me fer 8 days starting tmr.
sense the ecstacy in tht statement ?
heh trying to play it cool here.
loadsa slp over plans, mahjong sessions, mini road trips -crosses fingers-
a lil breathing space wld do me good, after all the stifling shows of concern.
no way am i skipping sch on any of those 8 days tho.
DRAT.
bro paul being all chummy wif my mom n all.
revolting.
*hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
spiderman spidermannnn
hahaha
fucken/feckin/farking/friggin/freaking
-grimace-
the masochist gnarled at 7/04/2004 09:40:00 PM