attacks on my femininity.
just stop, i refuse to hear anymore of it.
speculating is my game, gaming is merely a past-time.
yes, single-child families produce strange offspring.
there really is a difference btw completely trusting someone,
and being totally prepared to be disappointed.
sometimes they merge so well, its hard to distinguish which is which.
unintentional ambiguity merely a built-in precaution.
double paranoia.
all it takes is a single trip up.
i've had an overdose of anythg academic.
unleashing the green eyed monster within.
possibly a matter of insecurity,
and to some extent an inferiority complex of sorts.
its best to face such evils alone.
top ten pet peeves ? being asked repetitive & completely stupid questns, being told what to do,
arrogant pple, coming into contact wif pple's feet (ewwwwww), clingyness, pple who dont pick up after themselves,
interrupted slp, indulging in lame conversations, the biasness of others & EXAMS.
- basically, things tht i've had to tolerate fer the past coupla weeks.
yes i'm impatient, unreasonable & short-fused.
kinda miss the days of semi-domestication.
its nice to be able to sit down in complete isolation and just read a book or loaf arnd.
detached from the rest of the world and totally uncontactable.
to be able to slp early and not have massive eye luggage the next day.
to actually enjoy time spent wif my dogs, rather than seeing it as a chore cos i'm always rushing fer time.
hmmm the simplicity of it all.
its a special day tmr :)
hopefully it'll bring me some luck fer tht dang lit paper.
stroke 9 - - letters
the masochist gnarled at 6/27/2004 08:55:00 PM
Saturday, June 26, 2004
You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
the masochist gnarled at 6/26/2004 05:37:00 PM
Friday, June 25, 2004
slip inside the eye of your mind
don't you know you might find
a better place to play
you said that you'd never been
but all the things that you've seen
will slowly fade away
so i start a revolution from my bed
cos you said the brains i had went to my head.
step outside, summertime's in bloom
stand up beside the fireplace
take that look from off your face
you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out
and so ally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger i heard you say
take me to the place where you go
where nobody knows if it's night or day
but please don't put your life in the hands
of a rock n roll band
who'll throw it all away
the masochist gnarled at 6/25/2004 01:44:00 PM
Monday, June 21, 2004
sometimes i think you dont wanna hear all i hafta say.
my silly thots fall on deaf ears, and meet wif blank stares.
i'm labelled moonstruck.
i think i'd find more solace in an asylum than where i'm at rite now.
here's the lowdown.
lets just play pretend and act like its all okayy.
on a separate note altogether,
i feel exceptionally fortunate.
:)
the masochist gnarled at 6/21/2004 10:53:00 PM
Sunday, June 20, 2004
i've got 4 measly days left to study fer the stinkin mid yrs.
we had 4 weeks and i leave it all till the last 4 days.
isnt tht all too typical of cj pple (well SOME at least).
just fer the record, i havent done diddly squat fer the past coupla days.
okayy lets keep this whining abt mugging to a minimum.
secret muggers get on my nerves.
aight anyhow.
wuz supposedly grounded fer the week but tht didnt change much.
dad's bday dinner on wed wuz a blast.
had a lil too much to drink at the dinner table.
got a coupla anal retentive guests a lil peeved, but fuck tht.
my parents seemed a lil more amused than i'd expected,
wif my dad boasting bout how he'd introduced me to alcohol at the age of 6.
post-dinner activities included a visit to zouk fer mambo.
wuz made to entertain one of my dad's china pal's kid,
fortunately fer me, she wuz pretty cool and conversation went along comfortably.
anyone who noes me well enough wld noe tht :
1) i loathe meeting new pple and having to make small talk.
2) i cant speak mandarin to save my life (ironic when matched wif my mother tongue results)
aight so i wuz s'posed to look after my new friend rite ?
ended up looking after a semi-wasted sab and a VERY wasted grace.
left selina (the china chick) in the care of the very sociable charine.
caught a glimpse of edison chen who happened to be there (fer reasons unknown to me)
wuznt exactly interested in squeezing past his huge posse fer tht sneak peek
but as unlucky as i've always bin, this cld quite possibly have bin the furst ever time
tht i wuz at the rite place at the rite time, wif a celebrity within 10m of me.
so yeah, now i can proudly say, i saw edison at zouk :)
char, i'm glad we didnt proceed wif our ingenious idea.
somehow i dont think it wldve bin worth it.
on top of all of tht, thurs and sat were my fave days of the week :)
something tells me i'm gonna fail the mid yrs fer sure.
and yet, tht fails to alarm me.
i'm still tanning by the pool, spending long stretches of time doing NOTHING, reading my book
(its REALLY good by the way - icarus by russell andrews), etc.
please REFRAIN from asking me how my studying's coming along, how much i've done, yada yada.
and please dont ask me out fer the whole of next week :(
as much as i wanna spend time wif some of you, i really cant.
we'll meet up after the 28th aight ? (i THINK thts when the agony ends la)
aight i'm really wasting a fuck loada time here.
i'm so full from dinner i'm gonna pop.
am in a very irritable mood rite now.
please dont ask me the same questns over and over again.
dont ask me things you noe you wont understand, then i'd hafta explain it to you from scratch.
in fact, dont ask me anythg at all.
tht way i wldnt hafta crack my brains to come up wif some incredible lie which you wldnt believe anyway.
fucking waste of my time.
i hate sundays.
linkin park - breaking the habit
i wanna go fer the concert ! urghs.
the masochist gnarled at 6/20/2004 10:40:00 PM
Monday, June 14, 2004
things're so weird wif you.
dont worry, i wont even ask.
as good as dead.
//i will never tell you this,
but i'm scared of falling apart,
and it may seem like i'm holdng it together,
but the weather is making it hard,
nevermind the time,
or the spinning of your head,
i could tell my life was changing,
since the minute I met you,
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'd probably choke on the words i never said,
and if i stop ever thinking of you,
i'd bury my heart and fall back in my bed,
and what a sight that'll be, yea
-new found glory :: the minute i met you
the masochist gnarled at 6/14/2004 08:59:00 PM
| L | Lovable |
| E | Explosive |
| O | Outrageous |
| N | Natural |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
i totally agree :) wif "lovable" especially.
the masochist gnarled at 6/14/2004 08:22:00 PM
Sunday, June 13, 2004
i dont think i've ever felt this consumed by desertion.
more or less a self-inflicted form of rejection and isolation.
a complex situation yet divulgance of its details falls on deaf ears.
searching but not finding the words sincere-sounding enough to translate my emotions into something audible and comprehensible.
awful confessional bulletin boards of sorts.
overly public and easily accessible.
who am i kidding.
i'm completely responsible fer the state i'm in.
silently wishing fer a fragment of tht care tht i dont deserve.
on a determined endeavour not to wallow in self pity,
merely confined in the constructions of my own misery.
i wont deny, i'm every bit the culprit as i am the victim.
the paradox, the irony of it all.
:: irreversible ::
y'noe, i've always bin highly annoyed when pple go "hai".
but i think i've used tht ridiculous expression repeatedly in the past 48 hours.
after examining the contents of my sms outbox, i'm not only disgusted
but fuelled to seek a better way to express my remorse.
theres really no such thing as selective dishonesty.
neither is there any innocence in a white lie.
lies are lies
and sometimes, they cost you the only things you ever cared abt.
the masochist gnarled at 6/13/2004 08:42:00 PM
| M | Mysterious |
| A | Ambitious |
| R | Respectable |
| I | Important |
| S | Silly |
| S | Stunning |
| A | Arty |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
the masochist gnarled at 6/13/2004 04:23:00 PM
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
the masochist gnarled at 6/02/2004 06:30:00 PM