Looking,
For a new kinda lover
Not a girl made of rubber
Someone who can make me feel how I wanna feel
And tells me all the things that I wanna hear
It makes me lose control, it makes me go insane
I wanna a girl that does cocaine
Cocaine (x2)
Screwed up, its how she needs to be
With no clue of reality
Just wanted you to make me feel how I wanna feel
And tell me all the things, that I wanna hear
It makes me lose control, it makes me go insane
I wanna a girl that does cocaine
Cocaine.......
yep the stud's gonna come out pretty damn soon.
there u have it, yet another victim of authority.
sch's a blast in a very minor way rite now.
cant complain, tho i wldnt mind seein a couple faces back in sch.
vb's gettg tougher by the day n no more playin hooky fer me :)
since new yr's approachin, guess the only thing to lk forward to
is the expansion of my very skinny savings account.
its hungry fer deposits, so yeah, lets pray hard.
pretty much rushing into this cos i'm tired as fuck
n i wanna crawl into my comfy lil single bed where
i'll squeeze n stay in possibly one position all nite
wakin up wif cramps n aches n a stiff neck.
haha nahh jez exaggeratg, my bed's nice n comfy.
gets even comfier n unbearable to leave when the alarm rings at 6.15 every morn.
loadsa bdays in january, meang there goes my allowance heh.
but yeahh, the presents were worth spendg on.
note to self tho : do things IN ADVANCE next time.
tht'll save me the embarrassment of missing things out.
tsk.
go ahead n laugh, harries.
i find it a tad amusing too myself :)
gawd this is sucha monotonous entry,
or at least thts the implied effect cos thts how i'm feelin rite now.
dead beat/smashed/tired as hell.
kinda sad tht vb tks up so much of my goddamn time.
n time spent at hm goes str8 to my unlimited connection to the internet.
YEP
my life rite now's abt as interestg as chinese lessons.
and my fear of things not workin out in every sense
is gettg to the pt of paranoia.
its like askin someone afraid of heights to go skydiving.
okayy tht someone wldnt be me, cos i'm rarin' to go skydivin.
aight anyways,
hmmm how can feelings ever turn mouldy ?
i vaguely remember myself using tht particular methaphor in the past.
i dont really see wad i'm drivin at, so there u have it.
the entry we've all bin waitg for ! (not)
g'nite world.
My reflection, dirty mirror
There's no connection to myself
I'm your lover, I'm your zero
I'm in the face of your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when we're really gonna need'em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
Cause she's the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fasion victims chew their charcoal teeth
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
She's the one for me
She's my one and only
// Primadonna, self absorbed
Wide awake and never bored
Party, binge and purgency
Results of plastic surgery
Spotted at the hottest shows
Interview on Charlie Rose
They all want a piece of you
And now I know how far you'd go
To be the next freak show
American Psycho
Cover of the magazines, patron sent to troubled teens
Wish I never heard your name
i've got an essay to get started on
but i cant seem to bring myself to get to work.
time passes at snail's pace since sch started 2 weeks ago.
everythg's moving in slow motion,
but in a strange way, it sometimes feels like we're livin on the fast lane.
contradictive i noe, but thts jez how it is.
sometimes u have no other choice but to put up wif the scraps yer left wif.
abandonment & neglect.
perhaps adopting a completely different attitude wld ease the situation.
no time fer moping anyways.
today wuz undoubtedly, the slowest n dullest day i've had so far.
not to mention, we started the day wif a bang (ethics conducted by the vice principal, mrs lau)
wuz happily stuffin my mouth wif delicious muffins,
when she chose the perfect moment to call on me.
had to swallow the enormous ball of mashed up blueberry muffins in a painful gulp.
the day ended wif my favourite period of all time,
chinese.
my eyes were practically wielding themselves shut during the entire duration of jy's tutorial.
heh definitely not one of the best days i've had.
as the wkend approaches, a sense of relief sweeps across my senses.
outlets of stress no longer serve their purpose.
thank god tmr's friday.
at least theres sumthg to lk forward to :)
my chinese tchr's so motherfuckingly hilarious.
all her "LEHs" n "HORRRRs" r drivin me up the fuckin wall.
i've officially signed myself up fer some chinese calligraphy competition.
heh YES. u better believe it.
jez fer laughs.
i dont even noe how to hold the goddamn brush properly fer gdness sake.
bin so totally distracted this past week.
i've nv bin more spaced out before, i swear.
my train of thot's constantly interrupted by snippets of other stuff.
very annoying but there aint much i can do abt it.
sex ed 101 during econs tutorial today wuz extremely enriching.
thanx tim n exo !
tho the demo/props wuz a lil obscene, i guess it wuz pretty necessary when educating clueless ones like me.
hmmmm NOW i get it :)
and so do fio n cindy !
my insatiable appetite can nv seem to be fully satisfied.
a bottomless pit indeed.
i'm sure my new classmates can vouch fer tht,
considering how i'm constantly munching in class when the tchr's not lookin haha.
u noe how they say, you are what you eat ?
yeah so tht makes me eggs n sausages, 2 muffins, a ham & cheese sandwich, onion rings, potato wedges, fish n chips, vanilla ice cream n spaghetti.
n thts jez fer today :D
its bin stashed in my bag fer the past 13 days.
i swear, its gonna rot real soon if i dont stop bein sucha wuss.
hmmm theres volleyball tmr.
oh YAY.
i jez love lookin at thunder thighs n goldfish eyes.
i'm glad i sacrificed my saturdayy to be wif charthe shark tonite :)
sorry it dint occur to me tht u'd haf a million perfumes alreadieeee.
oh wells. hope u dont haf tht particular one, n tht u like it !
some situations can really bring out the true colours of so-called friends.
disappointed as i may be, theres nuthg much we can do but stay weary these fair-weather pals.
at least rite now, i noe what i want.
everythg's sorta like a fairy tale.
but when it comes to sch, its like we're all burning in hell.
doesnt help much tht we're the most notorious class n tht we've got a mix of very infamous pple.
dont they realise tht buildg up unity among us (which alreadie exists),
wld only make us stronger as a rebellious entity thts gonna drive em up the wall.
fuckin airheads.
gotta keep a low profile till parent-tchr's meetg's over.
otherwise, i'm historyyyyyyyy.
remorseful at the way things've turned out.
yet again i fail to consider the consequences of my actions before acting on impulse.
however, some things r inevitable.
cant change yer own stars can you.
slightly disappointed at the intro.
felt like a shard of glass bein jammed into my heart.
heh but oh well, i asked fer it.
so who else is there to blame but myselffff.
Love has the incredible effect of making you feel hijacked by your hormones. While in the grip of love you're dizzy, euphoric and feel carried away by something it seems you're powerless to resist. But are you ?
blogging in the sch library
wad a no-liferrrr haha
dear elmo's workin on her rajoo so i decided to tag alonggg
sch's movin on at snail's pace n my class is perpetually gettg picked on
food sucks, but then again, i cant even eat it
the class beauties of the period haf mysteriously vanished (heh)
no eyecandy, no motivation, no incentive
no zong huan fer me to roll my eyes n poke fun at
break's overrrr :(
so there u have it.
my 2 cents worth of whye there aint no pt in comin to sch.
furst dayyy of schhhh
wad can i sayy man, it sure as hell wuznt rOcKiNnNn. i'm still deeply rooted in my holiday momentum
wuz lookin forward to break all day n fidgetg in my seat restlessly.
the merger wuznt as unbearable as i'd expected.
in fact, i kinda like my new classmates :)
my class is ALL the wayy at the very end of the J blockkk
tucked in a lil cornerrrr near the "escape route" hurhurs.
how fuckinn groovy is tht.
it wuz fabulous seein all the lovely pple i hadnt seen in abt 2 monthhs.
wuz all geared up to get my tongue pierced afta sch
but due to several delayyyss (no i dint chicken out hahas !)
n severe lack of time, i decided to get the job done tmr insteadd.
pretty damn freakyy if u ask me,
but i think its farkin kinky :)
addictive pain. wickeddd.
aight anyhows,
major revelation.
some pple arent as straight as they may seem.
haha amusing yet really disturbingg.
really gross. really really gross.
got truckloads of things to be done cos i wuz in complete slacker mode all holiday.
alreadieee feelin the heat wif all the common tests comin up n hmwk due.
surprisingly dint get booked fer a single thing todayyy hoho :)
how totally unbelievable is tht
either i've successfully morphed into the disciplined n obedient nerd tht bp wants everyone to be
or the world's jez gone blind.
either way, it suits me jez fine.
shared a giggle or two wif cindx n the rest as we watched the poor souls who got their hair cut by the barbers employed by the sch.
dan is now bald, n i fear to see wad tim lks like on mondayyy.
no more floppy mop 'do fer you ! hahahaha.
vickerrss u luckyyy thinggg.
kinda missed sch over the hols.
sometimes, a lil routine is gd i s'pose.
dont get me wrong tho, i sure as hell wish the hols'd nv end.
but since thts impossible, jez gotta make do wif wads handed to us.
dreadg the assignments n slogging n gettg into nerd mentality.
a small part of me wishes tht i had retained so i can delay taking As fer another yr.
but then lookin at the newbies n hearg of the new syllabus,
i think i'd much ratherrr everythg jez stay the way they originally are.
kinda psyched bout the piercing.
it freaks the nuts outta me but i guess it doesnt hurt to experiment.
can always remove it when i get bored hurhurs :)
got all jittery at the piercer's n the waitg sorta increased the fear n suspense.
anyways, since my dad's waged cold war against me once again (YES AGAIN)
this is the opportune moment to get this done since we wont be talkin fer approximately the next 10 days.
*thou shalt not be consumed by flatteryy.
i shall restrain myself frm makin the furst move of antagonism.
wont allow myself to sink to tht level of worthlessness.
rite now i'm pretty damn contented :)
xuez : shall we break our lil pact or wad !?
baby, i'm too lost in you, caught in you
lost in everything about you
so deep, i cant sleep, i cant think
i just think about the things tht you do
im too lost in you